For those of you who don't know who Tucker Max is he's a writer, producer and just a general all around asshole. Here's his exploits http://www.tuckermax.com/
His book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell is one of my favorites and included in the index of his book is his famous drunk scale.
You can find the whole scale here:
But this is my personal favorite stage of drunkness:
"Tucker Max" is the ultimate drunk stage. Never mind about operating heavy machinery; I have trouble figuring out door knobs. The only benefit is that I don't have to worry about driving because I can't even find my keys. Any of several things can happen at Tucker Max Drunk. I can:
-black out;
-hook up with ugly or fat girls;
-fail to hook up with hot girls because I pass out on them;
-vomit uncontrollably;
-make loud, boisterous, and thoroughly untruthful claims about my achievements;
-commit myself to large and utterly hopeless wagers that I have no way of covering;
-claim to be an renowned expert on things I could not begin to explain when sober;
-start fights with small, defenseless people;
-break things;
-become very angry with inanimate objects, and loudly curse them;
-say anything, no matter how offensive or mean, to anyone, no matter how helpless or undeserving;
-wake up somewhere that I have never seen before, and do not recognize;
-have long and involved conversations over important topics that I have no recollection of the next day
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